I'm lost and stupid without you.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
