drinking out of a sandbucket again
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
