You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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