you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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