Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
