we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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