whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
