did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
is it fun? or sober?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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