omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
