I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
