so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
