i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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