I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm really busy with my period
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