i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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