Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
