if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
