woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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