i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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