i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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