At least make sure they are 18
Why
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
