matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
