Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i've created a new STD.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
