He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
