SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
