Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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