dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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