I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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