cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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