dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
