Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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