really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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