it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
