Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
