Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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