he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
