last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
