He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
