Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize