ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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