I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
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Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
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