I wish I could teleport
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
