I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize