NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I have fence marks all over my body
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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