My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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