so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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