How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
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there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
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I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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