I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
