the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I love how my cats smell like pot.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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