dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
