drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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