I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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