I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
What changed your mind?
Being sober
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize