I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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