Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN