hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You need Xanax blowdarts
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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