**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.