kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
