i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
