you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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