I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
