I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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