You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Vodka?
Forever.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
