Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
