brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
