Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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