so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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