So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Let's get the cat blown out
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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