Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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