with your own penis?
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
