are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
