She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
