My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
