My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
