ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
