Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
